In our last chapter, nothing of relevance happened at all. *Leto smacks herself* Err, that is, I was just setting the scene for the wonderful and exciting things to come! (Yeah, that should wash...) No, seriously, Togepi became fried egg, Ash-tachi and Team Rocket realised they had no way of getting to Sea Foam Island and Brock meets up with an ugly girl who gives him a little *too* much attention. Hearing footsteps coming from the bushes, in desperation, Brock turns and kisses the first girl he sees, proclaiming her to be his girlfriend....

I Can't Think Of Decent Fanfic Titles To Save My Life
by Leto
Part 3

Brock grabs the arm of the first girl he sees. "Her!" he says and before the girl can do anything about it, she finds herself being kissed by Brock.


*choke* "Erghh, get off me!" squeals the girl, forcibly peeling Brock off herself and *let's phrase this tactfully* putting some distance between them. ^_^.

The fat girl looks at Brock (who now looks a bit worse for wear) somewhat sceptically and says "If she's your girlfriend, why did she punch you into that tree?"

Jessie and Brock "Girlfriend?" squawked the girl.

Brock shot her a pleading look and said "Errr, Jessie's always been a bit... shy about showing affection in public...."

Jessie sputtered a little, not knowing what to say next. James, Ash and Misty watched the whole scene, greatly amused, if a little puzzled.

The girl pouted and said "But Brock, I love you far more than she ever could! Dump that ugly slut and go out with me instead!"

James cringed as he saw steam coming from Jessie's ears.

Jessie was none too pleased to hear such a description of herself, and decided to play along, if only to annoy this annoying girl.

With a fierce scowl, Jessie marched over to the girl and smacked her over the head. "You'll never get my man, you fat ditz!"

"Don't call me that! I have a name, you know!"

"Oh, and what is that?"

Yeah! thinks the author. Finally she'll get a name and I can stop calling her 'the girl'.

"Never you mind!"

The author starts hitting her head against the keyboard.

@adsf;lk8-b097wm;alkfb7-&; PSD(*^F)POK@J^3nmpad

Suddenly a voice booms out of the sky. "JUST SAY YOUR NAME ALREADY!"

The girl meekly says "Joy."

"Joy?" protests Ash, "hey author, you shouldn't give her the same name as a character already on the show!"

"I'm the sister of Nurse Joy!" she explains. "I was the odd one out. You can't imagine how bad it was... the different one, shunned by my older sisters and cousins... I shared their name but I'm not like them at all! I was always known as the 'fat Joy' and it was such a tragedy for poor, innocent me that I had to run away from home! How could I stay where no-one understood me? Understood that I was a person with rights too, even if I was different? When - HEY! Hey, I'm talking here!"

She trails off as she realises everyone else is sitting drinking tea and paying not a scrap of attention to her.

Joy scowls and grabs Brock's arm. "I'm taking him with me!"

Brock breaks out into a nervous sweat, but pulls out a Pokéball. "Pokeball, go!"

The Pokeball breaks open and Onix materialises.

"Onix," orders Brock, "go squash her or something."

Joy runs screaming and is not seen again. And there was much rejoicing. From me. All the other characters stand with blank expressions.

"Dare I ask... okay, WHAT was all that?" demanded Misty.

I just thought it'd be interesting if Brock was in a reversed situation....

"It might've been interesting if it were well written!"

...but then I decided I didn't want her to take up any more space in this fic so she was... exited.

Everyone facefaults and muttering can be heard about getting a new author again. Hahaha, you'll never overthrow me! ^_^.

"Let's get back to the matter at hand... how are we going to get to Sea Foam Island?"

Everyone stares in Ash at shock.

"Ash is talking sense..." gapes Misty.

"Ash is being focused..." gasps Brock.

"Pika pi, pi pika pikachu!" gasps Pikachu.

Meowth laughs at this. Pikachu grins and starts laughing too.

"What'd he say?" demands James.

This makes the two laugh harder.

Pikachu and Meowth

Everyone starts to get annoyed at this private joke. Jessie picks up Meowth by the scruff of the neck.

"Meowth, what did Pikachu say just then that was so funny?" she says, looking as intimidating as possible.

Meowth takes in her still-bedraggled appearance, and the sight of Jessie with wet hair and mud on her face trying to look imposing makes his only reply "Meowth, heeheehee."

Disgusted, Jessie throws him back onto the ground and takes charge. "Right. Ways to cross. We could either take a boat or swim."

"NOT swim," say Brock and Meowth in unison.

"Let's swim!" says Misty at the same time.

"We don't have enough money for a boat," points out James.

"I might," says Ash, digging through his pockets. He turns up a couple of small coins, and everyone gets sweatdrops.

"We could use our Pokemon..." suggests Misty.

"That's all very well for you," says Brock, "but I somehow can't picture Geodude ferrying me across the water."

Everyone starts laughing at the thought.

"I could lend you Staryu."

"What about us?" protests Jessie.

"You can have Psyduck," says Misty generously.

Jessie and James facefault.

Ash sorts through the options in his mind. (It takes a while, for him.)

"Okay... I could use Squirtle, Misty could use Starmie, Brock could use Geo- er, Staryu, Jessie and James can use Psyduck..."

"No way!"

"Or Goldeen..."

Thinking of that sharp horn, Jessie and James in unison again say "No way!"

"Or Horsea..."

Sweatdrops. "Uh, I don't think it could carry both of us."

Brock gets a bright idea. "Hey, I know you don't have any water Pokemon, but can any of your Pokemon swim?"

"Weepinbell does best in the ground, and if Weezing tried to swim it'd probably dissolve so I'm NOT about to try that."

"Lickitung's not built for swimming, but Arbok might be okay. It's big enough to swim on and some snakes can swim."

"Give it a shot!"

Jessie pulled out a Pokeball and threw it. "Go, Arbok!"

The cobra materialised. "Charboku!" it barked.

"Arbok, get in the water!"

It looked disbelieving, but seeing that Jessie was serious, it reluctantly edged itself in.

"Go deeper! Try to swim!"

Arbok got a sweatdrop and gulped. "Char, char! Charbok!"

"What do you mean you hate water?"

"Charbok, bok, chaaar char arbok!"

Jessie got a sweatdrop. "That St Anne fiasco was months ago, and you're not Ekans any more!"

Arbok gave her a truly pitiful look, one that would melt a heart of stone. However, Jessie's heart was not made of stone, so it didn't affect her. ^_^. She merely pointed towards the water.

"Char," it sulked, but went in deeper.

As soon as Arbok's body left the ocean floor and it was out of its depth, so to speak, its eyes bugged out and it screamed "ARRRRBOK!" and swam at top speed back to the shore.

Ash-tachi were rolling around the ground in laughter, James looked slightly sympathetic, but Jessie looked triumphant.

"Yes! You see, Arbok can swim! Did you see that?"

"You're not seriously going to ride on Arbok, are you?" asked Ash, trying not to laugh.

"Of course! It can swim, can't it?"

"You expect it to swim 4 kilometres to Sea Foam Island?"

At the phrase '4 kilometres', poor Arbok's eyes bugged out again and it tried to hide behind Pikachu, somewhat unsucessfully.

Pikachu and Arbok

Pikachu was still laughing from the private joke it and Meowth had earlier but managed to collect itself enough to pat Arbok on the shoulder. (I'm not sure snakes have shoulders, but let's pretend.)

Jessie took pity on Arbok and drew it (much to its relief) back inside its Pokeball.

Suddenly Brock said "Hey, where'd Meowth go?"

Everyone stared at each other blankly. Nobody had even noticed he'd been gone. Just as Jessie and James were getting worried (or ready to start celebrating, I can't tell from here), a familiar voice sounds out.

"While you idiots were standing around here doing nothing, Meowth was taking action!"

Everyone went and stood around Meowth, waiting to see what he was going to say. Then, Meowth looked at Pikachu, said "Pika pi, pi pika pikachu!" which caused both of them to start laughing hysterically again.

"Meowth!" snapped Jessie, "Meowth! Snap out of it! Tell us what you found out!"

Meowth's laughing too hard to answer, he just holds out a Pokeball.

"You actually..." begins James.

"successfully..." continues Jessie.

"stole a Pokemon?!" they finish in unison.

Meowth grins and nods. Everyone is shocked. Jessie and James both grab the Pokeball and throw it down.

From it, materialises a Gyarados.

"We can - heehee - surf on it!" says Meowth.

Everyone gulps.

"Thanks but, uh, I think I'll go on my Squirtle," says Ash generously.

"Starmie for me!" says Misty.

"I'll take Misty's Staryu, I think," says Brock.

"Pi pi - heehee - pikachu!" says Pikachu, meaning "I'll ride on Horsea."

James looks fearfully at the Gyarados.

"Uh.... Ash, could I borrow Pidgeotto?"

"Oh no you don't!" snaps Jessie, smacking him. "We're in this together!"

James sighs and nods, and the two nervously get on the Gyarados. Everyone else calls out their Pokemon. At Meowth's request, Ash calls out Pidgeotto and Meowth climbs onto it. Pidgeotto looks none too happy about this. Nor do Jessie or James.

"Hey Meowth, you traitor, you stole this Gyarados, you should ride on it!"

"That's right!"

Meowth mumbles something about hating water.

"Oh well, we'd better head off," says Misty, interrupting a potential fight. "At this rate, it'll be dark before we get there. Go, Starmie!"

They head off.

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